Fugue in F-Major, Ending in a Sonnet

I know it's cliche to have a thing for musicians
But let me just say...I have a thing for musicians.
Cause, you know, someone puts their mouth just right on a reed
It makes sense, that's a mouth that knows what you need
Yeah, give me a woman who plays flute or oboe
Cause she knows how to puff up her cheeks and blow
And you cannot underestimate the importance of rhythm
Your own metronome going to tick tick tick'em
It takes patience and attention to know
When it's time to kick it up and time to decrescendo
Because let's be honest, ladies: timing is everything
Ain't nothin' offbeat gonna make your bell ring
And if you want a love to produce a volcano
Set me up with a friend who plays the piano
It's a quick damn trip from sonata to bed
I think Tori Amos put it best when she said:
The piano is a passionate instrument... a sensual instrument, and, um,  you can hide men in it
... So there's that
You want to seduce me? Start in Bflat
Stretch out those hands, and honey you are golden
Cause nothing works faster than Asharp to F7
It's about running your fingers over the right keys
That's pretty much all it takes to make me week in the knees
Cause there's something beautiful, both aural and visual
About playing percussion on my favorite triangle
And I promise when I say this, I'm not trying to be porn-y
But who can resist when a woman gets French horn-y
And oh, heaven help me, if she's got a harp to pluck
Those fingers moving so fast, I just wanna...have a conversation with her
And the cello, sweet Lord, do I even have to say it?
It's shaped like a woman and you gotta open your legs to play it
Oh and one more, I realize it's common
But there's this woman that I have my eye on
And I, so often, wish that I could
Be made of only strings and wood
And have her hands begin their trek
Pressed lightly at my arching neck
And make a slow but steady trail
By working down my major scale
So stringed melodic I would croon
And then my eyes to her eyes tune
That nothing could be so easy
For a bright minstrel, such as she
To wrap her arms around my hips
And strum me with her fingertips
And I would find it bliss by far
To be but used as her guitar