I can tell it's love because when I'm with you
I turn into an idiot.

I forget what I did this weekend
And how to find 20% of my bill for a tip.
I say unclever and possibly racist things.

All of this to guarantee that you will think I'm an idiot
(and possibly a racist)
And not ever want to see me again,
Thus ensuring my unremitting singledom and eventual solitary death.